Self Image

The “Self ‘Talk” article posted earlier hit home.  At the age of thirteen my aunt bought me a girdle and from that day on, regardless how much I weighed or how fit I was, I was convinced I needed a girdle, then there was SPANX and I became a religious follower of the SPANX movement (or lack thereof).   I thought I was destined to stuff my body into some constraining fabric the rest of my life.

This week-end I had a chance to do some retail therapy and saw two perfect dresses, a pair of shorts, and a must have blouse.  I picked my size in the first dress and went to the dressing room.  The armholes were huge and the dress hung on me.  I decided I must need a smaller size.  I put the size 12 back on the rack, got the next size down that was in stock, sure the 8 would not fit.  To my surprise, it fit and was even a tad large.

With regained confidence, I grabbed the second dress off the rack and it fit even better!  I was so pleased, I decided to try on a pair of shorts  and a blouse in the same size and they were too big.  I could not understand why one dress fit perfectly and everything else looked big.  Then I re-checked the second dress and it was not an 8 but a 6.  To my total surprise, I exchanged everything for size 6.  However, I was not beaming.  I was confused.

My self image was a size12 (and I have seen many women whose bodies are too die for that are even larger) and I was happy with being a 12; the size does not matter, just the fit.  However, size 12 did not fit, it swallowed me.  That is the point.  I am a size 6 and I thought I was a 12.  I noticed my jeans were a size 10 and  could hardly keep them up and there was no way to keep the hems from dragging, but that did not register with me when grabbing that first dress.

Some of my heavier friends like to say they are a little woman trapped in a big body, I never thought I could say I am a big woman in a small body.  Yes, there is size 0 and truly small women who would think I am overweight or at least be glad they are not like me,  I get that.  The point is, there are size 0 women who think they are a size xxxxx.

Self talk, self image.  That is what it is about.

To your health,